Anxiety

*Author's Note: A poem putting anxiety into a perspective. A humanization.*

You come in waves

There is no water

Yet, I drown

I wish to thrive under pressure

Crushed instead, I gasp for normality

I reach for familiarity

Grasping nothing

I fall deeper, still, into myself

I can see nothing

I feel everything

I'm deaf and blind

I cannot speak

I am silenced

Straining for my senses

Comfort is far away

A distant dream

An alternate reality

You come in the dark

You come in the quiet of my mind

Put up a fight

Stay Alive

Lick my wounds

I await for you again tomorrow

Flowers

Blends of pinks and yellows

Gently swaying with the winds

Natures sweet whispers caress their petals

Soft and innocent clusters of beauty

So simple, they confuse us

They bleed their sweetness into the air

Simplicity's personal fragrance

It spreads, flowing on the breeze

Calming us

How can something hold so much perfection?

I watch the flowers and ask myself

Lights in a darkened world

Shadow Man

Your mysteries are endless
Searching for answers, I stumble
Not upon what I'm searching for
But onto what everyone has come to find
Cadavers of secrets and empty hopes
And mass graves of fallen dreams
I claw out of this nightmarish place
Only a glimpse of your reality
Forever you are vulnerable to pain
So you protect yourself as much as you can
Even though you know you cannot hide
From this dark past
Even darker so
Are the shadows in which you keep yourself
Still searching for answers, you stumble
Further internally
Into your endless mysteries

Blood Under Our Nails

We scrub our hands clean
Of the dirt and secrets under our nails
The lies circle in the sink
While the drain chokes on impurity
Our demons grin back at us in the mirror
The darkness behind their eyes is ours
And their mouths so full of teeth
That our self loathing gets stuck between them
When the truth begins to shine
Through the hazy water
Our hopes only fall further
While the water turns crimson before us
The blood under our nails
The more we scrub the more it spreads
The more it covers the more it reveals
And the one that hates us the most
Is us
A permanent longing for second chances
Won't get us any closer to them
So we wash ourselves clean as much as we can
And we walk side by side with hate
Who wears a mask of the people who let us down
Never forgetting, never letting go
We hold our breath
And we know we can't change
Not really
Our demons laugh in our mouths
And it comes out as happiness
We aren't really happy
Just pretending
But maybe we believe it at times
Just long enough to forget
About the blood under our nails

Revenge

*Author's Note: I felt really metal. So.... this is what came of that. X*

When I look out from the glass
And the echoes of its shatter remain
I remember
I don't forgive
I don't forget
On my mind is not you
But what I am to do with you
Not once did it cross my mind
That your minds figment
Was a silhouette of the future
And was what to come
My bittersweet revenge

Bonewhiteglory

~Amazing lyrics by "Nature and Organization"- Bonewhiteglory~

The lovely copper colored mountain of flesh and stars
In my hands I cup my decline as it flowers into them
This is the rippling of the ages
Our lives are like rain
The small shower, the downfall, the thunderous pouring

In some green field of rape we lie

Dominion of this and that
He had one savage head like a great dead dog
He had one sad aged head, weeping
His other head
Over in the distance the hills are moving
London bridge burns, why, god may be dead
Many little children cry and laugh
My mind to me a kingdom is
Oh shall you kiss me as before

So then, here I am
The sky
What color shall I call it
From turquoise to what
Dark and light it is
Under it, a red fire cat shrugs it's shoulders
Her smile is bone white glory
The moon is a tiny star
And all the stars are shot from the glowing moons
Mothers all around me
Black faced, red spotted
Michael, Gabrael, Salael, Azrael
I laid down and wept
Let my mind not go
Bubbling lights all around me
I laid down and wept

Her smile is bone white glory
We may as well go with the angels
I laid down and wept
Sheeted wings, black amily
My love for you is very great
The breath of the stars

Between the ivory towers of her teeth
There I say, in the red bed of the flesh
There is the golden womb of god
I say there
These are god's pillars
Her smile is bone white glory
We may as well go with the angels

Peace

*Author's note: Just a little poem I wrote after looking out my window. X*

I wait in the night
Curled up surrounded by billowy white
I pull the blankets up close to my chin
And rock with knees to my chest
My coffee steams and I take a deep breath
I stare out my window at the stars
Gleaming in the dark sky
The moon's glow brings me comfort
A smile grows on my face
I bite my lip
So much peace